I am a fool.
I am always second.
My life fails me.
My morals fail me.
I wish for more.
People have told me,
"Some day,
A girl is going to be
Extremely happy,
Because of you."
Why must it be someday?
Why can't it be now?
Why do I still hurt?
What goes around comes around,
Why do I still hurt?
I wish for stability.
My life is stuck on repeat.
I find someone special,
I care for them.
My heart is torn.
I wish for love.
My entire life,
Has been balanced by a set of scales.
On one end sits all the good in life,
The other has all that makes us sad.
During my childhood,
All the bad were 10 oz weights,
And all the good were 10 pounds.
Every joyful thing that ever slapped a smile on this thing, added another.
Looking at the balance now,
Its all off.
Despite the mass amounts on either side,
Sorrow is so much lower.
Then I realized it,
For every bad thing that has ever happened,
It added 10 pounds over there.
Grabbing my ankle and never letting go as it brought me lower, and lower.
Lower into the bleak dark and desolate void.
Darker than the deepest reaches of space,
Even then there are little limericks of light,
Tiny little stars still watching over you.
Five miles under the sea level,
The only light comes from things only wanting to drag you deeper.
This far down, you lose all hope of rescue and just let yourself drift.
All light is false and only leads you deeper.
Even then, you still hope that that light, is in fact here for you.
I want that light to be there for me so dearly,
Yet I still sit back and watch
As others are drawn towards these lights and are drawn up or sink ever lower.
